Join me in some funny Discoveries !
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Subject: Actual Newspaper Headlines in 2002 Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus? Prostitutes Appeal To Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Miners Refuse To Work After Death Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope For Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft Crack Found On Governor's Daughter Kids Make Nutritious Snacks! |
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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally
Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock. Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon) Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with
candy
Texas executes last remaining citizen. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Baby conceived
Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so
it
New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and
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| Contributed By Betty Ann (author unknown)
"Democracy" is two wolves and a lamb voting what's for lunch. A "Republic" is two hundred wolves and one hundred lambs electing two wolves and one lamb to vote what's for lunch. A "Constitutional Republic" is the same two hundred wolves and one hundred lambs electing two wolves and one lamb to vote what's for lunch, where a Constitution guarantees that lamb is off the menu. Eventually, the Supreme Court votes 5 wolves to 4 lambs that mutton is not the same as lamb. |
| This following play on words was
sent to us from George B.C and we liked it so much we included it here.
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary...
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter...and supply a
new definition!
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| An Israeli doctor says
"Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out
of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six
weeks." A German doctor says "That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks." A Russian doctor says " In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, says "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work." |